Lack of Intimacy

There are several reasons so many marriages and relationships fail to work. Sometimes it is the lack of communication that separates two people, other times though, relationships break down or fail to work because of the lack of intimacy.

Contrary to popular belief, intimacy is not entirely of sexual nature and is expressed in various ways. There is emotional intimacy, where two people in a relationship are sensitive and mindful of each others feelings. There is cognitive intimacy where people have an intellectual understanding, allowing for deep conversations about thoughts, interests and plans.

Intimacy is something that can be given attention to in any kind of relationship. A person may or may not be vocal about their need for intimacy. Lack of intimacy comes in many forms, such as being unable to give priority time for your lover at least once a day, a not showing any displays of affection, or never making a simple text or call just to remind the other person that they are being thought about.

There can be times when people do not even know that they crave intimacy. For instance, just because a person has a healthy sexual relationship, it does not mean that they are emotionally nurtured or taken care of by their partner. Something one person considers insignificant may be of high importance to the other.

If a person is uncertain if their partner’s thirsts for intimacy, there is no harm in asking them, the same way that it is not wrong to voice out your needs and wants for the improvement of the relationship. Talking about it will help to acknowledge the fact that it is important. Being aware of each other’s need for intimacy is a great foundation for a stronger and lasting relationship.

Being attentive of a partner’s necessity for intimacy will make a big difference to the relationship. Not only will it establish one’s value in the relationship itself, but will also show exactly how one values the relationship. It is never too late to try and make a difference.

A partner can avoid a lack of intimacy by being creative and surprising a loved-one by showing how they care. Appreciate each other’s efforts. Support each other emotionally and forget the shyness. Step out of the comfort zone. Speak in a loving manner. Be patient and kind. Focus on one’s loved-ones instead of always making things about ‘me’. If a person has difficulty expressing themselves verbally, get a pen and paper and start scribbling down those sweet nothings. The possibilities are endless. Do not hesitate to be yourself!

Devoting some time to addressing the issue of lack of intimacy will help a person to relearn or get to know more about their partner’s love language. Once a person recognizes the weight and important of intimacy in their own life and that of their partner’s it can be an important step to getting a relationship back on track.

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