Common Marriage Problems

The jury is still out as to what are the most common marriage problems, but these are strong contenders for the top ten list

Common marriage problems:

• Communication problems
• Boredom or monotony
• Sex, money, children and day-to-day problems
• Lacking commitment (or maturity)
• Giving up on the marriage
• Incapacity to handle conflict well
• Loss of intimacy
• Infidelity
• Needs not being met at home
• Unrealistic expectations

At the top of the list is communication problems. Most marriage counselors and relationship experts agree that loss of communication is a very serious threat to the marriage. It is worst when the couple altogether stops talking to one another. Fighting and bickering are far from ideal, but total loss of communication is even worse. When husband and wife stop communicating, there is no chance for them to let one other know what is wrong or what one wants, let alone to work out their problems.

Both spouses must therefore strive to communicate, and as openly, civilly and honestly as possible. It does not have to be face-to-face or orally all the time. Email, text and phone calls are fine, especially if a spouse is busy at work or elsewhere, or has to travel. Open communication becomes all the more important when there are problems in the household or in the relationship. The best way to learn about and address those issues is through open communication.

Other common marriage problems are boredom, monotomy, and the ‘seven-year itch’, which can lead to other problems like infidelity and having needs that are not being met at home. To avoid boredom and straying, both spouses must strive to keep the romance alive, and never neglect one another even—and especially—after many years of togetherness. Sliding into a marriage rut is all too common for long-time husbands and wives. One way to prevent this is to try to do new things together, like going on a trip somewhere they haven’t gone to before, or trying out a new sport or activity together. It also helps when both partners exert efforts to look good, stay healthy and attractive for one another. Looks are definitely not the be-all and end-all of relationships, but they help to keep the flame of romance burning.

Being too busy working for the family and raising children are also common marriage problems. In itself, being busy is not bad, but it can create issues and friction when it results to a spouse being neglected and feeling not appreciated, loved or valued enough. Here, the importance of communication once again comes into play. Despite having the busiest of schedules, each spouse can still—and should—find ways to communicate to one another that he or she is loved and appreciated. They can, for instance, schedule a date night once a month, during which they do not think of anything else but themselves as a couple having quality time together. Setting time aside for one another is important so as not to lose intimacy within the marriage.

Some maturity, good sense, conflict management skills, and definitely commitment are needed to make a marriage work. People should have realistic expectations about being married, that it is not all romance and fun. There are ups and downs in every marriage, and every couple fights now and then. There will be major quarrels and rough patches, but when the couple commits to staying together and working out their issues sensibly and civilly, all common marriage problems can be surmounted.